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 Craig y Nos by Natalie Holborow

 

 

 

You were eight when you got the infection.

All day long, that terrible racket hacked

through the bleached sanatorium

where day after day

mucus slapped the roof of your mouth,

sliding salt-green down the ridge

where your furred tongue was huge

and parched for weeks, barely able

to pant the word dwr.

Your native language sucked away

through a hypodermic needle.

 

The last time you saw Aileen Morgan,

she was all sore angles beside her bed.

Stripped from the sheets with the fever,

shuddering in her nightdress,

you remarked softly on her pretty red scarf

twisting like blood through the bars.

It was years before you got over the sight

of her drug-shattered face on the pillow,

torso shapeless and white.

The nurses let loose her cold fingers

and tucked the scarf into a box.

 

You were wheeled on your beds to the balcony.

In hushed voices, they said

the cool Welsh winds worked miracles

if they did not kill you off. One morning Hywel

raised a sick arm of chicken-flesh, tinder-bone:

please Nurse, I’m cold in a  little voice.

She slapped his face with a gloveless hand.

Every morning before sunrise, she proofed herself

against tuberculosis in folds of starch and cotton,

scrubbed her hands by candlelight.

Scissors grinned from her breast-pocket.

Every day some child folded himself like a nautilus,

hacking his rags of lung softly into a pillow.

Turning your face to see children

rise up the wall through the ether,

your sternum became a birdcage;

your glockenspiel ribs all about you.

 

It troubled you all those years later,

silver-haired in your bedroom. The shock

of a blotchy photograph slid out of a drawer.

The involuntary memory of accordion-lungs,

balcony talk. Aileen’s skeleton wrapped in a scarf.

Like a cough, the children of Craig-Y-Nos,

a thought you cannot shake.

 

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